Stop auto syncing

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How do I keep Itunes from updating songs on iphone that have been deleted from iphone? Sometimes uploading a new song from Itunes will result in its trying to upload songs that were previously deleted from Iphone. It even tries to upload songs that were removed from Itunes creating empty records in music library on iphone. I have space problems on my phone, and this costs me 2-3 hours deleting files or empty library entries from phone every time it happens. It doesn't seem to happen if I am uploading something for the first time, but if trying to load something that was there previously, it will try to update every song that was in library.

Also, when my iphone is plugged into pc with usb, the song list on the phone (from itunes on pc) shows multiple copies of songs (that had been loaded more than once) as well as songs that no longer exist on the phone.
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